Gonorrhea Lectim The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced “gonna re-elect him”).
Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.
Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to:
Anti-social personality disorder traits
Delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor
Chronic mangling of the English language
Extreme cognitive dissonance
Inability to incorporate new information
Inability to accept responsibility for actions
Exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado
Uncontrolled facial smirking
Ignorance of geography and history
Tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies
A strong propensity for categorical, all-or nothing behavior
The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago in a Texas Bush.
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