George W Bush

New Disease: Gonorrhea Lectim


    New Disease:
Gonorrhea Lectim
  The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced “gonna re-elect him”).

Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.

Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to:

Anti-social personality disorder traits

Delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor

Chronic mangling of the English language

Extreme cognitive dissonance

Inability to incorporate new information

Pronounced xenophobia

Inability to accept responsibility for actions

Exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado

Uncontrolled facial smirking

Ignorance of geography and history

Tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies

A strong propensity for categorical, all-or nothing behavior

The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago in a Texas Bush.

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